Every relationship has its ups and downs, but if your partner has the same annoying behavior time after time, it can affect you emotionally. This can cause feelings of resentment and even lead to a breakup, especially if you’ve asked your partner to change and they don’t seem to be doing anything about it. Even the most perfect partner has that one thing that drives you up a wall, but you don’t have to put up with it forever. These five tips will help you see your way through the mists of conflict and get your partner to finally change their ways.

1. Talk about it calmly

Communicating is the foundation of any relationship, and it should never go without saying that it’s the best way to get your point across to your partner. If you’re feeling frustrated about something, sit down with your partner and explain how you’re feeling calmly and rationally. It’s important to avoid getting emotional or attacking your partner, as this will only make them defensive and less likely to listen to what you’re saying.

2. Use influence, don’t dictate

If you’ve had the same conversation with your partner more times than you can count, then it’s time to try a new tact. Instead of constantly arguing about the same problem, try using a different approach to get your point across. Influence is a powerful tool in any relationship; if you control what your partner thinks and feels, they’ll be more likely to change their behavior. This will work much better than making demands or trying to force them into doing something they’re clearly not comfortable with.

3. Put the problem in the context

For your partner to see things from your perspective, it’s important to put the problem in context. For example, if you’re upset about your partner’s spending habits, explain how it affects you emotionally and financially. This will help them to see the situation from your point of view and hopefully make them more conscious of their behavior.

4. Be willing to compromise

There are no relationships without compromise, and if you’re truly in love with each other, then it’s important to be willing to work together. Finding a happy medium between what you want and your partner’s is the key to making significant changes in your relationship. Your love life won’t be perfect, but you can work together to make the parts that you don’t like the least bit better.

It’s also important to remember that not everyone is the same, and there are no cookie-cutter solutions when dealing with a problem. Instead of looking for a quick fix or a catch-all solution, try to work together to find a mutually beneficial solution to the problem.

5. Model the behavior you want to see

It’s easy to tell your partner what you want them to change, but it’s another thing entirely to put those words into action. If you want your partner to change and you’re willing to put in the effort, then you need to start by modeling the behavior you want from them. It may not be easy, but if it’s a change you want to see in the relationship, then it’s worth pushing yourself.

Dealing with a problem in a relationship is never easy. It takes tremendous patience and understanding to get through rough patches, but at the end of the day, it’s worth it just to make your partner happy. If you’re willing to put in the effort, then you can make your partner change for the better.